This picture tells a thousand stories. At first the only thing I could see is how my medications and health conditions have changed the way I look. Funny how we always look at ourselves first in a photo. This guy sitting next to me (for those of you who don't know) is my son Anthony. This picture was taken in the parking lot of the county jail just prior to me dropping him off to spend his 30 day sentence. I asked him to not let me forget for us to take a picture before he turned himself in. I did forget... but he reminded me because it mattered to me. That is the heart of Tony.
I want to start by saying that Tony's story belongs to him. The only part of his story that belongs to me is that I chose to give him life. My mother's heart has traveled to hell and back, many times over through the years. I have not had the luxury or comfort of a partner who traveled that harsh road with me. His sister Nicolle has been a champion for him, loving him beyond measure even when his choices crashed painfully into her life. The two of them, God did such a wonderful thing when he chose them for each other. As their mother, I just get to absorb the waves of love that exist between them. Of all of us, I am by far the luckiest <3
I could talk until no words are left to speak about the wonderfulness that is my son. I am so very proud of the human being that he is. Many people choose to just see an addict, a homeless person, a wanderer, a rager, a (fill in the blank). This is so very sad. All I can say to that is you are missing out on the chance of a lifetime to know and be loved by a truly remarkable human being. Labels are such an ugly thing. These past few years especially I have heard, read, and been told the most lovely things other people have to say about my son. I cannot tell you how this fills a mother's heart. Things that have been spoken are that Tony is funny, kind, intelligent, giving, generous, loving, protective, honest, hard working, empathetic, intuitive, a best friend, a miracle, a helper, compassionate, earnest, talented, creative, brave, one hell of a cook. These past few weeks I have been told 'Tony is like a brother to me', 'Tony helped me when no one else was there', 'Tony gave me everything he had just so I had food to eat and a place to stay'. We all... all of us... get lost sometimes. Maybe your addiction is to men (or women), or sex, or food, or gambling, or self-pity, or spending money, or being angry, or control, or whatever your personal vice happens to be. It is so very easy to cast blame and judgement on someone else- in order to take your eyes off of yourself. Life is a process for all of us. No one is exempt. Mostly, the reason behind this post, is that I just want to shout to the world that God chose me to bring this remarkable human being into this world. Those of you who are fortunate enough to be called Tony's family or friend are rich indeed! And thank you, I am so very touched by your outpouring of love for my son <3